Wednesday, April 10, 2019

2019

Got a change of jobs and right now I'm working in SG - I'm grounded

Not exactly enjoying my job but still manageable but i feel like this is not the kind of environment i want to be in. Don't feel like continuing,but i stayed on for my friend to get her referral fee which was quite a substantial amount. Most(if not all) people who knew what had become of me told me to leave this job for myself, and not to do it for her especially because she didn't offer anything out of it. But i think i'd just be glad that i had a paid full time job while i hunt for something more value-adding, purposeful and positive to my life. These people of course never included my family, who preferred i work instead of studying so that they get $$ every month. It pays a little better than my previous job, but i was happier(probably also more oblivious) when i meet shitty people as a 4-months-younger-Grace. I guess i was more loving and kinder as a person, even Janan feedback on that. I feel like i "took on" this attitude because i had to protect myself at work, while it is probably not very God-pleasing, I have not idea how other methods i could adopt.
I've been losing my patience wayyyyyy easier as of late because of the people i see at work, and i feel like probably rolled my eyes more time in this span of 4 months more than i did in my entire life.
I'm really still trying to figure out in life what do i want to do, and because i'm not getting any younger, i really just wanna try to do this, some thing i don't want to regret not doing when i reach 90y.o and lie on my deathbed thinking: shit, if only i'd tried that.

Well, if we try to think of the good things...  at least i'm more familiar with excel and Microsoft now because i spent a lot more time typing away on the computer with emails and building tables on excel, learning formulas here and there.

On a lighter note, i've been exercising very often, and not so much of running like i did in the past. Thanks to Classpass, i've explored many other areas like muaythai boxing, barre yoga and intensive circuits instead of the mundane runs i did alone around my place previously. I mean, yes that'scheaper but i hadn't realise that there was so much more that my body could do, having open glutes and stronger arms, and it's something i really enjoy doing. It's especially satisfying when you noticed you became stronger than you were the week before, that you could do much more than you did a couple of days back. 
Also, checking off all my adult duties - insurance plans and income tax. Completing my braces treatment. Finding (finally) a painkiller for my paracetamol-intolerant anatomy, relieving unfortunate near-death menstrual cramps recurring as of late.

It's really just trying to find myself in all the mess that is in my life currently, to do self-improvement and become more organised.

Other than attempting to improve my life offline by picking up a few of Marie Kondo's tips and tricks in packing my wardrobe, I've also cleared out all the emails in my mailbox and upon reading my previous advertorial exchanges, i got reminded that i have this abandoned blog that was of forgotten efforts of my beloved supporting friends and me, so i decided to bring it back. I find that while i kept my thoughts on dayre, i found that it was very difficult to touch on personal long thoughts because i'd be cut off my train of thoughts after every 150 characters.


In the next couple of days i gotta:
Send out resumes
Read up my book of Following Jesus to complete Bible Study homework
Probably redo parts of this blog
and jet off to Taiwan with the most positive and encouraging family i ever met in my life.